i have nowhere else to write this. i just need to get a lot of stuff out.
I found out I’m sick, well, technically, I’m not sick yet, but if I don’t drop a ton of weight, I will be soon. I’m having heart problems. Great, right? Well, I’m also on Xanax cuz I’m a wreck. I need to get in to see a psychiatrist soon, or things might get worse much faster then this. And honestly, I don’t care. I would welcome the idea of being sick.
My mom got a job. But that means I can’t work because I have to watch Jonathan. Well, if I wasn’t already on a waiting list to work at DisneyWorld, just my dream job, then I wouldn’t care.
And Dominic sleeps. Yeah, that about sums it all up. He won’t get up. He always doesn’t feel good. He just sleeps. Doesn’t ask me to take him to a doctor, nothing. Just says I don’t feel good. And I don’t want to fucking deal with it anymore. I don’t want to deal with anything. I don’t want to be with anyone. Not Dominic, not family, not friends. I want to be all by myself. I want to just let myself go, health wise, and any other way possible. No one truly knows how sad I am. And, really, I don’t think anyone cares.
I’m just so tired of nothing being right.